"Be strong Marina. Keep strong."
That is what everyone tells me. And have been telling me.
I am not sure that is what is the best.
People have also always told me
"You are so brave Marina!"
"You are so mature for your age"
"You are so free, such a free spirit!"
Why are you so free?
And I still can't answer this questions. I don't feel very brave. Or free. What now that means. But I would say that maybe the answer to why people think I am this brave. And maybe free.
I think that the answer to this is that I just look on things differently than other people might do. I am not brave, or at least not braver than anyone else. And free, I don't even know what that means. I am free in the way that I am free to make my own chooses and that is what I am doing.
Maybe my chooses are in some peoples eyes brave, because I do things that common people in my age might not do. But my answer to that is that it isn't because I am brave, because I am just as scared, terrified sometimes, as anyone else. But I choose to look up on it in a different way. It is a must, it is just something I have to do, to rescover all of this things that I want to see.
And as Jonathan once said to "Skorpan" in the book "The Brothers Lionheart" written by Astrid Lindgren.
"If I do not do this I wont be anything more than a little filth"
And I guess that is what keeps me going, that and my stubbornness.
I do not know what is the best to do. Or what I really want.
Sometimes I just wish to be back in Sweden this instant. But in the same time, what would I do there? And as well.. it will be winter in Sweden soon. And God knows I have seen to much winter for awhile I do not wish to go through another one after doing two allready. Even if the winter in Argentina is lovely short and more like a long autumn in Sweden, has it been terrible cold, and I am so longing for the warm and sunny days and nights, the flowers and the green.
But soon soon comes the spring and thte warm sun and more happy days with this. I know and I Love and I See and Embrace.
Thank you Dad for letting me see and enjoy the beauty of the nature, to trust people for who they are. For trusting my instinct for what is right and what is wrong.
Thank you for being with me in my heart,
I miss you.
